| "President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished." --Jay Leno |
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"What was left unclear...is what will happen after Saddam is gone? Democracy seems unlikely, so the hope is that Saddam will be replaced by a more pliable leader, someone we can work with to keep the country under control, maintain regional balance of power. Someone sympathetic, secular, someone like, oh...1982 Saddam." --Jon Stewart |
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel." --David Letterman |
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"Bush said he wants a change so that the people of Iraq will be |
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The World Is in Good Hands!
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"The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market." --Jay Leno |
| "Things do not look good. The economy's gone south, we're at war,
people are out of work. In fact, George Bush Sr. picked up the newspaper and thought, 'Hey, I must still be president.'" --Jay Leno |
| "The New York Times is reporting that President Bush now has a formal plan for attacking Iraq. They say the key to this plan is timing. As soon as Bush's popularity falls below 52 percent, then it goes into effect." --Jay Leno |
| "It's been reported that the FBI is visiting libraries nationwide and checking the reading records of people it finds suspicious. When asked about it, President Bush said 'I've always been suspicious of people who go to libraries." --Conan O'Brien |
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